This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

ICQ Commands (For Beginning Users)

For those who are new to ICQ, and who are in all likelihood connecting through the embedded rooms here on this blog, the following commands in chat will help your ICQ experience. Experienced users presumably know of these commands and/or have clients which render this list obsolete.

In order to illustrate the use of commands mages here are shown along with a short description of their use. Please direct new users with command questions to this post. A link to this post will be included at the bottom of every embedded chatting page in the near future. A few other commands are mostly vestigial on the embedded pages due to the ability to simply click a username in the tab to private message other users and the lack of OPs.

/Join Probably the most important basic command. This allows you to join another room (while remaining in the one you're already in.) It will open in a new tab. You can simply close tabs to exit rooms, instead of using the /part command, by clicking the little "X" on each tab you wish to close, after you join rooms. On this blog you can start in any room and join any other in this manner. Always include a "#" before the room name, such as #Atheism, #Middle_East, or #Europe.

/Ignore The most frequently neglected command. In the old days many new users appear not to have realized that instead of dealing with spammers you can simply ignore them. Here, the user is ignoring a user named fuckwad. The basic format is "/ignore username" where the username is whatever nick someone is using. If the command does not work copy their name from the screen and paste it into the command, because they're probably using a funny character that you didn't notice when you typed it.

/msg nickserv register This allows you to register a password, so that you alone can use it. Paired with the next two commands it allows you to identify yourself without using a guest nick or potentially losing your nickname to someone who dislikes you. Make sure the password is something you can remember and don't do what Rasputin used to do and have "Rasputin" as the password. The email must be something you can access, because you will receive a confirmation command. Paste the command into the embedded page ONLY ON THE STATUS TAB- if you mistype it anywhere else, others will see what you post.

/msg nickserv identify Any time you enter chat using your registered nickname, go to the status tab and enter your password in this command, where "password" is your password. This identifies you as the owner of the password. Your registry will expire in thirty days unless you use the identify command each time you log on. Should you consistently forget to do so, nickserv will drop your registry and your nickname will become fair game for anyone else to use.

/msg nickserv set enforce on By entering this command (you only need to do it once.) any user attempting to utilize your username will be booted off of it after 30 seconds. I believe enforce is now set to on automatically, and this merely shortens the time before they end up with a slew of numbers after their nick. For example, if your nickname was fuckwad, and someone else logged in as fuckwad and did not identify the nickname, after thirty seconds they might become fuckwad9459.

/nick This changes your nickname to whatever you have put as "newnick." In the past many possible nicknames were censored because of "muh feelings" and even Mongol was a ban term. Now feel free to use whatever nickname you happen to desire, so long as it is not already registered.

/me This changes your statement to the narrative. Your statement (on the embedded pages, not on all clients) will also change color. So if you type in the following...

The result is...

/whois This command just shows you if someone is online or not and their host mask, basically. You input whatever username you wish in. Here, I am trying to see who fuckwad is. Unfortunately fuckwad now runs a fake ICQ server.

/whowas If you're really bored or a stalker you can see the last few recent logins for any user with this command. Otherwise, it's useless. Here I am trying to see when fuckwad was here, but fuckwad is too busy running a fake ICQ server under the same nick she used on ICQ and pretending to be important.

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