This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

David Bowie Trolls the World: Review of "Blackstar" Teaser




Despite being nearly 70 years old, David Bowie (who has been pissing everyone off at a whim since the 1960s) has once again literally torn the rectum of more groups with one song and music video than I think I can count; jews, christians, pop culture, blacks, he's just pissed on every one of them with an experimental track that would be commercial suicide for most anyone else.

One look at the lyrics should tell us that Bowie is (in the music video itself, literally) thumbing his nose at everyone else, while presumably reveling in the fact that nearly thirty years after his former pinnacle, he's peaking again for the third time (formerly, the Ziggy Stardust and Ashes to Ashes eras were his best.):


I can’t answer why (I’m a blackstar)
Just go with me (I’m not a filmstar)
I’m-a take you home (I’m a blackstar)
Take your passport and shoes (I’m not a popstar)
And your sedatives, boo (I’m a blackstar)
You’re a flash in the pan (I’m not a marvel star)
I’m the great I am (I’m a blackstar)


Bowie appears to be relating himself to god- which makes sense, since he just made a debut that even has the mainstream buzzing, even though its sound, made by anyone else, would be considered "underground" and "odd."

Apparently a crucified orthodox semitic figure.
Bowie summoning demons or something.
Presumably the dead Major Tom, replaced by Bowie's alter ego, Blackstar.

I'd definitely put the song up there with Ashes to Ashes or Ziggy Stardust in terms of listenability, and as for the music video itself; it's his best through his entire career bar none; I can only compare the visual impact with Bowies' role in "Labyrinth" as far as how strange and ethereal it is, although it takes this, too, up a notch and renders it even more bizarre. As far as the hidden meaning in the music I can only assume that part of it is his form of mental ego stroking (because he doesn't give a shit what others think) and the other part merely a general overarching sort of sonic ritual designed to usher in his new slew of musical work; a sort of chapter-by-chapter rite that he performed with the selfsame famous "Ashes to Ashes" three and a half decades ago.

Also of note; Bowie still has the smooth moves and his voice hasn't abandoned him, which is more than we can say for the majority of people whose music has traversed five decades. If the rest of the forthcoming album is as good as this, it will be one of Bowies' best.

I'd rate it a 10/10, and that's no joke.

A short list of Bowies' other trolling endeavors:

-Stating that he supported fascism, then claiming it was a drugged up joke.
-Throwing a sieg heil salute on several occasions.
-Predicting the rise of a second Hitler.
-Masquerading as a bisexual and manipulating the media.
-Everything in Labyrinth.
-Pretending to sell out to the 80s pop scene only to turn it into his own private venue for cracking jokes that the media and public didn't understand, probably to his immense delight.
-Outlasting the USSR despite copious drug use.
-Getting the right wing to declare him a hippie and the left wing to declare him a nazi.
-Literally destroying the pop scene he apparently hated with great vigor by influencing it in directions that crippled its marketability.
-Outshining people a third his age and refusing to go away.
-Changing personas on several occasions, confusing everyone as to what he meant.
-Proclaiming his intent to take over the world.
-Making a song about colonial sexual exploits and dubiously vedic swastika references and marketing it as a mainstream pop hit.
-Being pretty open about his occult references and being sly enough so the average person chalks it up to experimentation with image and sound.

No comments:

Post a Comment