This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

An Introduction to Trolling Chatrooms: By JohnLennon, Lord of ICQ Chat

So you want to troll? Want to piss people off and horrify your foes with your wit and tactics? Nobody can train you to be a master troll, even one as advanced as myself, but it's fairly simple to learn the basics of this age-old strategy and experiment on your own. When I say age old, I'm not joking. They existed in ancient times too.

Since a large number of people are likely to storm into librairc in the wake of ICQ's demise (which is by no means assured- as I said before, everyone ought to attempt to connect through any of this blogs' embedded rooms on the 2nd- I have a hunch the flash embed will still work and ICQ chat won't technically be "gone"- just unlisted from ICQ's own site,) it behooves them to learn how to punish those which have caused this problem to begin with- namely libra, immortal, and the others there, as well as the ever-egotistical TNTease who reportedly has her own chatting service now; I am investigating this as well.

The following strategies have all proven remarkably effective in building up a formidable trolling ability.

1. Morbid references. Even though repeatedly making in-depth gastric remarks about diarrhea, festering sores, and chronic and epidemic flesh eating diseases is "childish" it's more childish how people often react to such utterances with horror and disgust.

2. Raiding. Performing a raid is as simple as egging people on to attack a chatroom/chat site through whatever means seem appropriate. Forums, other chat services, youtube, facebook, it hardly matters. What does matter is that most people won't join the fun unless there's something in it for them; whether this is mere sadistic amusement or promises of "lulz" matters little.

3. Spam. Spamming has gotten harder over time as countermeasures have been developed. Unless you intend to use a script, bots, or key repeater, it makes more sense to simply wait until the OPs are asleep.

4. Self gratification. Merely ranting about your own capabilities generally bothers people to a great extent. I've spent years declaring myself a prophet, satan, better than jesus, a king among men, immortal, and other things, knowing full well that through this psychological implantation even your enemies eventually adopt it as a subconscious belief.

5. Infiltration. In rare cases a troll may be able to infiltrate the ranks of those they themselves don't actually support, through subversion. (see: Gremlin/ Antitheist.) If done correctly they may even be able to bring a site to its knees in this manner. It can, however, be a waste of time.

6. Derailing. This well known tactic is more commonly used by shills than trolls, and can be used to destroy a forum, chatroom, or conversation by injecting issues into conversation sure to disunify the people participating. Think; discussing the upcoming US election in order to stir up discord and anger and prevent meaningful conversation, while making partisan and suggestive comments sure to trigger the ire of partisans.

7. Building offsite infrastructure. Think; this blog, which now grabs up many hundreds of unique visitors every day, funneling trolls onto ICQ in a slow but steady trickle far more effective than raiding, which functions even when I'm asleep or absent, and which is entirely under my own command. I look forward to making many more librairc posts here.

8. Ban evasion. How can you be stopped if you can change your IP at a whim? I explain this simplistic process here on a post from 2013. It works on almost any chatroom, forum, or website of any kind.

9. Other stuff. I have a few surprises to unveil in the coming days. Specifically, Saturday.

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