This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Is ICQ Closing? Your Queries Answered by JohnLennon Himself

It seems there's a substantial amount of confusion left in the wake of libra and her traitor friends fucking ICQ up. So here are the answers to a few of the more pressing questions people have posed in the last few days.

Q. Is ICQ closing down?

A. Almost surely not; the site might get hit by spam hard enough to fuck up the server but it will probably be down for a while at some point for maintenance anyways as the site admins or someone they appoint fixes the damage done by libra.

Q. Will we have OPs back sometime?

A. I hope not. It's entirely possible we'll see the return of human moderators but it would make a lot more sense to just have a helpdesk and rely on bots. If we do end up with OPs it will be a whole new crew and I intend to apply. I'd vouch for wildcard for head IRCop and support Gremlin too.

Q. Are the admins even aware of the problem?

A. I already emailed them so if they weren't they will be; if libra was fired, she was fired by admins who will be acutely aware of the problem. If she resigned as she said, then she likely let them know (and if she didn't they probably keep tabs on her anyways after the last fiasco months ago.)

Q. But ICQ is dying anyways! How can it remain open?

A. ICQ isn't dying- it's actually growing although you wouldn't know it from the feebly-updated chat site itself. ICQ has a lot of peripheral services and is surprisingly worth many millions of dollars and is owned by a corporation with billions in assets. It's peanuts to them to spend even a six figure sum hiring someone to set the site up. ICQ's IM service and video calling are apparently all the rage in Russia and parts of central asia where users may not have the modern technology needed to use more data-intensive services. It's also spreading in Germany and Eastern Europe. This is why there are so many pakistani convert seekers on the site- something libra ignored and Yusif encouraged. ICQ chat has suffered because of crappy moderators- now that they're gone a new generation can remake the site in its image and cause it to work properly. It might even be able to compete with a site like XAT if it modernizes.

Q. But what about that bot that keeps saying ICQ is closing down?

A. A rumor from one of our more prevalent troll friends; specifically Bolero if I had to guess. He's insufferable sometimes but he did absolutely butt-blast the OPs so he deserves mention for it.

The bot. This is half true- the IRCOPS definitely lied on the site and were fired.

Q. Can ICQ be hacked when unprotected?

A. Of course it can, but 99% of the trolling and spamming is being done by people who primarily wanted to fuck with the OPs and drive them out. Most of us wanted fairer OPs, less censorship, and for someone to take us seriously, and have no intention to breach the site's security functions. Of course, others may try to do so, but chanserv is still active and I can't imagine many hackers spend much time on IRC networks from the 1990s anyways.

Q. But isn't libras site better?

A. If you consider a chat site which is being heavily trolled every day, with no more than 30 active users at a time, containing a dozen corrupt moderators to be "better" then yes. Otherwise, hell no.


  1. funy really it is

  2. Nope, it's not- and lolbra's retarded floodbots that she loaded to the site to ass fuck it haven't convinced a single regular that it is. Neither have those used by crapistani spammers trying to redirect people to viral sites.

  3. Yeah, the website itself says it's closing on Dec !st. This isn't in-chat spam. It's a message on the website.

  4. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrra sam is here let's danceeeeeee lalala lalala i dare u

  5. hey guyz its me sam fuck da icq in the eye hahahaha

  6. GUYZ show up ur nicks here fuckers,hey tracy,and other chan ops its me sexy sam 007 hahaha

  7. fuck that, try, we can chat there.

  8. what is certain denies service