This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Yusuf the Wizened Old Islamic Mage

Yusuf, sitting on a soviet-era concrete bench, pondering the lunch menu at the new fusion Russian-Islamic restaurant.


In the ICQ community, especially amongst the chatters which migrate between #middle_east and #christianity, Yusuf is one of a handful of pure fruities that, renowned for their fruity ways, spend their time proselytizing and trying desperately to stanch the bleeding wounds of both rooms as they are continually trolled.

Employed in a soviet-era concrete operation, Yusuf spends his days laying sidewalks in outlying city areas, spending his breaks and his time at home on his 1994-era computer- because his processing power is only as high as a mid-tier Nokia phone he can't use other chatting sites (which bothers him because XAT has a lot more white or asian, teenaged girls for him to try and seduce for a greencard.)

As he wanders down the dirt streets of his town, Yusuf is constantly on his Russian blackberry ripoff, posting drunkenly as the effects of his (dubiously legal) homemade sour mash kick in- assured in his own humor, he wanders back home after a long day of pulverizing old soviet monuments into powder to be turned into sidewalks (I hear that 50% of the concrete in Asia is from ground up statues of Stalin and demolished brutalist architecture.)

Some memorable quotes from Yusuf include "Hello" and "Take care everyone."

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