This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Monday, December 9, 2013

The Four Lands: The Flags, Peoples, and so forth, of Lennon's Empire

Herein lies a description of the four lands claimed under the territory of the Lennon empire- with the state flags, natures, and territorial boundaries of these subkingdoms.


Represented by the wisdom of the sun, the lands of atheism were first conquered in late 2012 after a lengthy battle with significant rebel resistance led by the Elune faction, which fought partially using robotic soldiers.

The population is middling, with a low crime rate due to the legalization of fruitiness. Its self contained military strength is high, and it exports ICQ's largest supply of halal/kosher pork. It is held as a semi-autonomous region with the Elune faction maintaining most internal affairs, but is guarded by, and held by, Lennonist armies.


The first territorial region conquered by Lennon- the land was held by the Church of Fundy until mid 2010 when, after a protracted war, it was besieged and successfully held. It retains its christian flag but the church was forced into exile.

This region is not autonomous but is directly run by the forces of Lennon. Being the oldest substate, it was a net importer but following the war lost half its population (which has since begun to recover due to immigration.)

The Temple of the Black Light is its largest employer, and due to its climate it exports mainly fruits (raised by a system of Maitreya plantations) and soldiers.


The colony of #ICQ_India was taken over by Lennon forces in early 2013, liberated from its #United_Kingdom overlords with little struggle.

Due to a high population, the colony suffers from various problems, but it exports a large number of goods, including chiefly grains, fuel, and a peripheral service economy centered around sex.

The colony struggles with the occasional attack by islamists but maintains a large amount of infantry to fight them off when they arrive.


The territory of #Middle_East is under military rule, governed by a junta of Lennon-friendly shiite forces after a successful coup drove out most of the sunni population, and has been under joint Shiite/Lennonist control since late 2010.

Partially incorporated into the empire at large, the region enjoys partial autonomy but its military is entirely composed of Shiites and Lennonists- attacks by sunni militants are frequent, but usually manageable.

Possessing access to DeNile river, it raises a great deal of cotton and has a thriving fishing industry- but the madman Jesus sometimes turns the fish into bread and throws them at passers-by.

No comments:

Post a Comment