This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Lock AKA Lock00 AKA loook99: Epic Butthurt

Apparently, America is doomed and Pakistan is about to become a world power. Lock never explains exactly through what reforms this would be achieved, but he's sure of it anyways.


After revealing to the greater ICQ community days ago that lock/Lock00, who was purportedly a Russian, was actually a taqqiya-using, convert-seeking Pakistani, he went on a ballistic rampage and got himself banned (usually, lock knows better than to trigger the bots, so I can only assume he was epically asshurt by my exposing him.)

In the last few days his response has been more controlled but no less amusing- changing his nickname on an almost daily basis (likely in hopes that others won't realize it's him, although his constant youtube spam and Putin worship makes it obvious) and trying pathetically to bother me when I am present- lock seems unable to determine who I am from language alone though, because when I use an unregistered nick he doesn't seem to realize who I am, until I make it obvious.

Today, lock went on a tirade, exposing himself as a commie by linking Chinese news sites, chuckling about how the dollar is dying and the USA is on its way out (this as the economy of the US slowly grinds back towards massive status, and as we continue to spend more than the next top ten nations combined on our military.) Lock conveniently ignored the massive economic might of the western world, with none of the member states thereof giving Pakistan a second glance- they'd much rather deal with India, a state of larger size and economic power, that isn't plagued by militants and famine.

Somehow, lock thinks that partnerships involving the Chinese and Pakistanis will result in all member states magically becoming more powerful- how this will be achieved when they compete with each other directly, and when none of the listed member states have large sums of expendable cash to invest in the others, is not clear- in fact the arrangement hilariously resembles CAFTA, which resulted, mainly, in Central American states continuing to stick to monocultured, banana republic style economies, at the behest of the hegemonic USA which didn't want them to compete- in return they get favored trade status.

Indeed, any Pakistani who thinks the Chinese and Russians don't utterly despise them needs only look to the Kashmiri province or to the fact that Putin, formerly a KGB member and a supporter of late-USSR variety mixed socialism, probably chuckled while the soviet union attacked neighboring Afghanistan, only losing out because Reagan decided it was better to give rocket launchers and body armor to militants than to let the soviets gain direct access to the Indian Ocean (which, amusingly, lock doesn't realize would have necessitated war with US-backed Pakistan, since Iran was already their ally!)

In fact, while the vast corpus of uneducated, third world citizens in Pakistan despise the USA (and love Osama Bin Ramensoup) their government continues to support the United States- and whether they like it or not, the Pakistanis are our minor-nuclear-power bargaining chip against the same Chinese people that they skirmish with on their border for a few hundred miles of inhospitable mountain ranges.

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