This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Guest860's Incredible, Insane Rant

Lucifarians are apparently a merger between Luciferians and Pastafarians
 
Guest860 was always epically butthurt that I got #christianity delisted- since he is now deprived of guests to rant at and debate, he comes back frequently to use his caps lock spam on the room out of spite for everyone else, most of which despise and thus ignore his presence.

Today he decided to clone me- had he even rudimentary intelligence he would have realized the ` in his name wasn't needed and he could just user "LUCIFER" because I almost always switch out l and I, but he isn't particularly intelligent so rather than actually clone me, he made a halfassed attempt that even a third grader could see through.

I just copy-pasted the entire conversation here due to its funny nature- Guest860 disconnects and returns as `LUCIFER in hopes of bothering me, but just ends up pissing other people off as I go to take a christmas cookie shit.
 



<LUClFER> A pair of scorpions had scorpion babies inside jesus' ribcage in the steppe
<Guest860> THE  RESURRECTION BODY OF JESUS  CAN NEVER  DIE
<Installed> Not as dumb as some people in here.
<Guest860> JESUS   THE ETERNAL SON LIVES
<tictact> are you sure
<Installed> Lucifer - oh be quiet.
<LUClFER> the skull of jesus, recovered by some romans, was then used as a piss pot
<Guest860> JESUS IS  THE LIFE   OF CHRISTMAS
<Installed> Okay - Lucifer - I've had it with you.
<LUClFER> every symbol in christmas is pagan
<tictact> i would say that the myth of the bible is way more dumb than the dumbest people who have ever lived
<LUClFER> Installed, goofy for you
<Guest860> JESUS   LIVES   SATAN  IS  A DEAD DUCK  HEADED FOR THE LAKE OF FIRE
<LUClFER> Jebus is a skeleton, and Satan is pagan too
<LUClFER> Christians even had to borrow the devil from paganism
Guest860 has quit (XMLSocket Connection closed)
<LUClFER> he ragequit lol
<Cernunnos> well, that did not occur till the 1890s LUCIFER
<Cernunnos> and you know it
`LUCIFER has joined channel #christianity
<Cernunnos> :)
<`LUCIFER> IM  A LOSER 
<`LUCIFER> I KNOW IM A LOSER
<`LUCIFER> I CANT WIN FOR LOSING
<LUClFER> Fail
<`LUCIFER> LIFE HAS DEALT ME  A  LOUSY HAND
<`LUCIFER> IM  CALLED LYING LUCIFER FOR A REASON 
<`LUCIFER> MY OTHER  NAME  IS  SATAN
*LUClFER takes a whiz
<`LUCIFER> IM THE FATHER OF LIES
<`LUCIFER> I  CONTROL THE MINDS  OF MOST OF HUMANITY   WITH  LIES
<LUClFER> Wow he sounds powerful
<`LUCIFER> BUT  JESUS  IS  THE  TRUTH   AND I CANT STAND IT
<LUClFER> He controls most of humanity indicating the christian god to be impotent hmmmmm
<`LUCIFER> I MUST LIVE WITH MY SELF  AND  MAN ITS  ROUGH  BEING ME
<`LUCIFER> I CANT  STAND MYSELF
<LUClFER> Deplorable
*LavaGirL looks at lucifers
<LUClFER> The gay Guest is trying and failing to clone me
<`LUCIFER> THE POWER  OF LUCIFER  IS ONLY  IN  WHAT  PEOPLE GIVE  HIM 
<LUClFER> lol
<LavaGirL> i see that
<`LUCIFER> ITS SAD THAT MOST OF MANKIND  IS LOST
<LUClFER> He is so homosexually attracted to me that he wants to be me
<`LUCIFER> GOD LOVES ALL MANKIND  BUT  MOST  CHOOSE  TO LIVE THE LIE OF LUCIFER  THE SATAN  LIE
<Cernunnos> parody is the lowest form of flattery :)
<LavaGirL> thats the guest person
<Cernunnos> or is it imitation...I don't remember
<Tiamat13> WHAT?
<`LUCIFER> IM SO DELUSIONAL  I STILL THINK IM  GOING TO WIN THIS   WAR OF GOOD AGAINST  EVIL
<LUClFER> He doesn't even realize Lucifer is a Latin description of anything that happens to glow... like a lightbulb... LOL
<Tiamat13> THE WAR OF GOOD AND EVIL?
<`LUCIFER> BUT THAN I CONSIDER WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS  AND IT DOES NOT LOOK   GOOD FOR ME
<Tiamat13> OH SO YOU ARE ON THE EVIL SIDE?
<`LUCIFER> THERE IS A WAR  BETWEEN  GOOD AND EVIL AND EACH OF US CHOOSE  WHICH  SIDE  WE ARE ON
<LUClFER> Hail Victory!
<Cernunnos> LUCIFER: not everyone studies history
<Tiamat13> WHO IS VICTORY?
<LUClFER> They should though
<Cernunnos> agreed
<`LUCIFER> I  HAVE  TO FACE REALITY  IN THE END  BUT IM DETERMINED THAT I WILL CONTINUE   LYING AND DECIEVING HUMANITY   AND TAKE AS MANY  AS I CAN WITH  ME  TO  MY  LAKE OF FIRE
<LUClFER> If people knew what Lucifer meant they wouldn't confuse the term with the devil
<Cernunnos> I blame the victorians for that
<Tiamat13> the bearer of light?
<Cernunnos> they were known for their shoddy scholarship
<nita> ok..merry christmas everyone. have a good one and see ya next time
<LUClFER> to give off physical light yes
<Tiamat13> cookie
<LUClFER> as in, a flashlight
<Cernunnos> it is their fault the cadecus, staff of mercury (and symbol of conflict resolution) is the symbol for modern medicine
<Cernunnos> lol
<Tiamat13> i demand cookie
<`LUCIFER> LUCIFER   IS MY NAME  BUT THE TRUTH IS  IM  SOLD OUT  TO LIVING A LIE
*nita gives Tiamat13 cookies........ see yas
<Tiamat13> see ya
nita has quit (Quit: )
<`LUCIFER> MY LIES  DECEIVE MOST OF  HUMANITY   AND MY  GREATEST  PROBLEM IS  KEEPING   HUMANITY IN THE  DARK  ABOUT  THE  REAL TRUTH
<Cernunnos> 'LUCIFER: we get it...you can stop now
<Tiamat13> no! he has to continue shouting at us
<LUClFER> I have immense cookie stockpiles atm- mocha crinkles, date filled, pecan swirls, pecan crumbles, peanut butter...
<Tiamat13> oh
<`LUCIFER> I  HAVE BEEN TRYING  TO STOP THE  BIBLE  FROM  BEING  TAUGHT AND  SPOKEN  FOR  THOUSANDS  OF YEARS  I KNOW  ITS  GODS  ETERNAL  WORD TO MANKIND   AND HUMANITIES   SOURCE  OF  TRUTH AND HOPE
<Tiamat13> for cookie i do biblical scholastics
*Cernunnos noms on christmas cookies
<`LUCIFER> THE BIBLE IS  MY BIGGEST THREAT  BUT MILLIONS  OF THEM  ARE IN THE WORLD TODAY  AND  MANY PEOPLE  ARE  BEING  SHOWN AND TOLD  ITS  TRUTHS  
DoctorMirabilis has joined channel #christianity
<LUClFER> Actually Satan probably likes the bible since it was so heavily altered at Nicea and no longer resembles its original format or content
<Cernunnos> not to mention the 2,000 year old game of telephone all ancient texts tend to go through
<LUClFER> True
awaymoose is now known as anonymoose
<Cernunnos> ie...in king arthur's time, pulling a sword from a stone was a very common occurence
<`LUCIFER> THE BIBLE IS UNCHANGED AND  THAT IS  SO EVIDENT WHEN THE FACTS  ARE  STUDIED
<LUClFER> Satan is the best friend the church ever had, for keeping it in business all these long years
<`LUCIFER> ;YOU CAN  GOOGLE  THE BIBLE  IS TRUE  AND FIND  THE FACTS  ABOUT  ITS  RELIABILITY  AND   ACCURACY  OF  TRANSMISSION DOWN THROUGH THE AGES
*Cernunnos wonders if 'LUCIFER understands the term historeography
<LUClFER> Were it not for the priests and pastors lying to the gullible, illiterate peasants, telling them to keep giving at the donation plate, telling them not to do so equals eternal torment, the church would have stopped existing
<`LUCIFER> I CAN ONLY LIE ABOUT  THE  ACCURACY OF THE BIBLE  AND  DENY  ITS   TRUTHS IN THE FACE OF ALL THE EVIDENCE   ON  YOUTUBE AND  GOOGLE
<Cernunnos> LUCIFER: in the defense of said priests, I have known many that are quite wonderful people. Their biggest sin is they do not denounce the nutjobs that proclaim to be christian
<LUClFER> Fact is the christian cult is so backwards that to follow its rules is actually not physically even possible- it self fulfils its own goal of making everyone feel guilty so it can extract their wealth like a true parasite
<Cernunnos> if they did that, the image of Christianity would improve greatly
<DoctorMirabilis> Thank you for your informed and enlightening discourse, Lucifer. I am now going to brb my church and renounce Christianity.
<tictact> great!
<LUClFER> Good, DoctorMirabilis
<`LUCIFER> I HAVE HAD TO GO DELUSIONAL  WITH COMPLETE  DENIAL  OF  THE OVERWHELMING   FACTS  FOR THE TRUTH OF THE BIBLE
<grunchley|AWAY> *** `LUCIFER has been ignored.
<grunchley|AWAY> *** LUClFER has been ignored.
<DoctorMirabilis> Brb = burn
<LUClFER> grunchley is so butthurt
<LUClFER> he looks like mister turtle, too
<Cernunnos> mister turtle?
<`LUCIFER> MIRABILIS   IS   LUCIFERS   DECEIVED    AND LOST   FOLLOWER  TRYING  TO MAKE  A  CASE  FOR   THE BIBLE  DENIERS  BUT  IT IS FUTILE 
*Cernunnos doesn't get why people think putting your words in caps makes them infalible and true...
<`LUCIFER> I HAVE  BEEN   CULTIVATING   PEOPLE  LIKE  MIRABILIS   FOR   CENTURIES  WITH  THEIR   WRITINGS AND OPINIONS  TO  DECEIVE  HUMANITY  WITH THE LIES THEY TELL
<`LUCIFER> IT WORKS 
<`LUCIFER> BUT  SOME ARE FINDING THE TRUTH IN SPITE  OF  PEOPLE LIKE    MIRABILIS
*Cernunnos smacks 'LUCIFER with a copy of The Screwtape Letters
<tictact> you mean that crap written by that hack CS Lewis
<`LUCIFER>  I MAKE NO  MISTAKE  IN  KNOWING THAT THE  BIBLE SAYS  THAT   MANY  OF HUMANITY WILL BE LOST
<Cernunnos> it is quite a heavy book tictact when you have the hard cover version
<`LUCIFER> CS LEWIS  DID NOT WRITE THE BIBLE
<`LUCIFER> GOD  GAVE MANKIND THE BIBLE
Guest4671397 has left channel #christianity :
<`LUCIFER> CS LEWIS  ONLY  WROTE BOOKS   BASED ON BIBLE  TRUTH 
<`LUCIFER> THE BIBLE  IS GODS  ETERNAL  TRUTH TO ALL MANKIND
<LUClFER> wow I go take a shit, come back, and he's still ranting
<LUClFER> Good thing I have hard cider
<`LUCIFER> YEP  I  STILL  HAVE TO FACE THE FACTS  IM  A LOSER  FROM THE GIT  GO
<LUClFER> Best part is he thinks it annoys me lol
<LUClFER> Praise the Devil!
<LUClFER> anyways brb, cookies
<`LUCIFER> THE LUCIFARIANS   ARE   SO DECEIVED  BY  SELF  DENIAL 
*Cernunnos disagrees...more like self absorbtion
<`LUCIFER> THE BIBLE  SAYS  IF YOU LIE  TO YOURSELF LONG ENOUGH  YOU WILL BELIEVE  THE LIES   YOU  TELL AND SAY THEY ARE TRUTH
<Cernunnos> at least all the ones that I have come across
<`LUCIFER> THE  LUCIFARIANS   HAVE  A LOT   TO  LOSE  IF THEY  KEEP  GOING  ALONG  WITH  THE  LIES  OF HELL
*Cernunnos goes back to his glass of mead
<DoctorMirabilis> Is there anyone lucid and coherent in here?
*Kansas wonders how Dear Leader's "man of the people who cares about the poor" Christmas is going
<Cernunnos> define both terms DoctorMirabilis?
<`LUCIFER> THE FIRE  IS COMING  I KNOW  THE BIBLE  SAYS   SO  AND  ALL MY  ACTIVITY IS  TO TAKE AS MANY  OF HUMANITY  WITH  ME TO THE LAKE OF FIRE  
<DoctorMirabilis> First, with both eyes capable of pointing in the same direction.

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