This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

EmmettM and the ICQ Zealot Experience

EmmettM calls me a drooling imbecile... while drooling with rabid rage that children are not being taught that dinosaurs coexisted with humans.

EmmettM is remembered for three things on ICQ- firstly, his unrelenting attacks on nonbelievers, secondly, for having been there so long that tom remembers him "as a young man" and thirdly, for ignoring anyone that disagrees with him (his claims to be able to ignore users "for years" are overblown- his way of trying not to admit that he still has to pay attention to my lunacy.)

The gay EmmettM spends most of his time fondling pictures of jesus, and as such has been on chat less often in past months, but that's ok, since he mostly lurks and cracks one liners at atheists.

In the wake of the #christianity delisting, EmmettM spent months offline, or nearly always so- deprived of a steady stream of guests to "debate" (harass) he lost interest before returning, like a dog does to its vomit.

Oddly, EmmettM might be one of only a few people less well liked than myself- even people who pathologically despise me have ignored me utterly for a chance to attack EmmettM. At one time, I assumed he was an extremely, extremely persistent troll and only pretended to be a christian, but a bit of back story from others who could stand him long enough to listen showed me this was wrong and he actually believed some of the insane things he says.

In EmmettM's rants I learned some quite fun facts.

1. The world is falling apart because of gays and atheists.
2. Not only is it ok to hit your kids, it's morally upright to beat them for small infractions.
3. EmmettM has a skirt fetish.
4. Women wearing makeup are of the devil.
5. Somehow, attacking your family members for not believing and executing gays is okay, but war is morally repugnant.
6. Women shouldn't wear any form of jewelry (not sure if this includes a wedding ring.)

The fact that he actually believes this is a sign of his growing lunacy, and he reportedly never allowed his daughters to wear pants, feeling it was a "sin." I found myself comparing EmmettM to a male (if feminine looking) version of the lady from "Jesus Camp."

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