This blog is a satire of the now-defunct ICQ chat service, which is thankfully dead because I destroyed it.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Baaaaz and the Lack of Common Sense

Baaaaz theorizes that Anton Lavey might have been a muslim.

Everyone's crazed Pakistani is back at it again in #middle_east, convert seeking and trying (and usually failing) to debate with nonbelievers.

Today, baaaaz gave us a lesson in islamic philosophy- I can boil it down to several tenets.

1. That anyone from the past who did not explicitly state they were not a muslim, might be a muslim (even if they existed before islam did.)

2. That jesus was a muslim a thousand years before Muhammad lived and died, and Abraham was a muslim centuries before that, despite them both being jews.

3. That the entire nation of India, according to baaaaz, should, and probably will, be obliterated by the Pakistanis.

4. Finally, that there is no problem claiming historical figures as muslims even though one of the most basic beliefs of islam is that they have to declare themselves a believer in Muhammad as the final prophet... even if they lived before Muhammad existed.

Refuting this were a number of chatters who ranged from amused at his banter, to confused that he was such an idiot.

But to baaaaz (whose book claims that semen comes from the kidneys) this all makes perfect sense. It is also amusing to think of the end result should Pakistan attack India given that India has enough nuclear weapons to render all of Pakistan uninhabitable for centuries, while Pakistans somewhat less developed and slightly smaller stockpile would be unlikely to do so to the far larger nation of India.

Obviously any person with a public presence should unilaterally and publicly denounce both Muhammad and Islam, lest in a few centuries, muslims concoct some hairbrained way in which they can be considered retroactive muslims.

UPDATE: Baaaaz also claims that birth defects come from premarital and anal sex.

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